Commence station security log, Stardate 47282.5. At the
request of Commander Sisko, I will hereafter be recording a daily log of law enforcement affairs. The reason for this exercise is beyond my comprehension, except perhaps that humans have a compulsion to keep records and lists and files, so many in fact that they have to invent new ways to store them microscopically; otherwise, their records would overrun all known civilizations.
My own very adequate memory not being good enough for Starfleet, I am pleased to put my voice to this official record of this day: Everything's under control.

End log."